I can only imagine the glee in the eyes of the individual that invented the automated handicapped door.  Not because of the ease in which the elderly and disabled can open and shuffle through the doors, but because of the awkwardness that is created when the average Joe approaches the door.

It’s a constant judgment game if some one has recently opened the door prior to your arrival.  Your body goes into panic mode, wondering when and if the door is going to jerk shut as you walk through.

Because nothing makes you look more like an idiot than flinching at an emergency door for the disabled. When the timer in that trap door goes off that door whips pretty fast. But seriously it’s like being frightened by a walker or any other implement that aids the elderly.  Of course, that being said, there is nothing wrong with being frightened by bedpans, catheters, and old people in general.

As far as this robotic door, I liken it to an older brother that fakes a punch that lands merely centimeters short of your face.  It doesn’t hit you, but you have indeed ruined your shorts.  

I can only imagine the havoc this deathtrap causes the elderly.  I bet it scares the holy hell out of them, just like cars, the Internet, and Doritos.  It’s going to be a shame, and even more ironic, when Stella is crushed to death by a door that was supposed to help her.

But if the individual that invented said door is anything like me, they take comfort in knowing that almost every person that walks through has a really good shot of taking it in the face, or being forced into the door jamb when the door hits them in the buttocks.

Also, is it wrong to press the button to open a handicapped door when you’re not handicapped?  What if you press the button to open the door when someone is reaching for the door on the other side, for the sole purpose of slamming the door into them?

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